Hiroki's Mine!
by Mikageshi
Summary: A day in the life of Shinosuke, Tsujiai's pet cat. Oneshot, the cat's POV


**Disclaimer**: "Ultra Maniac", "Shinosuke", "Tsujiai Hiroki", "Nina", "Rio", and all other UlMani elements that are indicated below but excluded in this disclaimer are © Wataru Yoshizumi and Shueisya Ashi Production. This fanfic is for cat-torturing entertainment purposes only. The authoress intended to gain partial control of anime characters that she does not own and not at all to infringe copyright.

**Hiroki's Mine!  
**WARNING: As implied in the title, this fic contains allusions to the _most tragic, wretched tale of love_: one-way (animal-to-human) shounen-ai. sniff

_Ooh, ooh! Hiroki is going to be late for class! As his beloved and trusted pet, I must wake him up!_

The cat with glossy black fur smothered his owner's cheek with continual zealous licks of his wet tongue. The fourteen-year-old student promptly stirred and shot a dazed look at the perky ball of fluff on his pillow.

_Ah! At last, Hiroki, you're awake!_

The boy, Tsujiai Hiroki, wore a pouting expression upon hearing his cat mew several times in succession. He cast a glance at the alarm clock at his sideboard table and scrambled to his feet, tossing his sheets behind. Without a word, Tsujiai dashed out of his room, leaving his moonstruck cat tangled beneath the depths of the unkemptly spread blanket.

_Eh? Hiroki? Where'd you go? HIROKI!_

As Shinosuke contended his way out of the rumpled bedspreads, he purred longingly for his darling master. He bounced off the bed and loudly called for his Hiroki.

All of a sudden, he heard the distinct sound of a shower faucet being turned. He scurried towards the bathroom, listening attentively to the gushing of water sourcing from his destination.

His eyes shone in anticipation. Hiroki's in the shower! I'll see Hiroki in the shower!

He impulsively clawed on the bathroom door to declare his presence. Hiroki! Let me in! We could take a shower together! I could wash your back, and you could wash mine, and–!

The affectionate feline was so engrossed in his reverie that he did not pay attention to the creaking of the shower. Soon enough, Tsujiai set out of the bathroom, the opened doorway knocking the distracted Shinosuke to the air.

Tsujiai eyed his cat skeptically. That dreamy look of Shinosuke's always did disturb him somehow.

_That hurt, Hiroki! How could you be so cruel to me?!_

At the dining table, both cat and master indulged in milk, the latter dining with cereal as well. Shinosuke purred delightedly as he lapped up his milk, coiling his tail around Tsujiai's nearby ankle. Tsujiai petted Shinosuke's head and gently yet firmly said, " Not now, Shinosuke. Your tail."

Shinosuke, in profound enjoyment, wound his tail higher up Tsujiai's leg and pressed his head to the boy's warm palm. _That's it, Hiroki… Pet me. Cuddle me. I love it, Hiroki!_

The cat snapped out of his spell when he felt Tsujiai's leg stiffen. He meowed and looked up at his master. Tsujiai was staring at _his_ dish of milk underneath the table, which struck the feline as odd. When the curious cat turned back to his helping, he caught sight of a small gray mouse sniffing his plate, face-to-face with him.

Tsujiai shook his head and sweat-dropped as his black cat darted around the house, shrill MEEEEEOOOOOOOWWWs escaping its milk-dampened throat. The meddlesome rodent scuttled into a tiny hole dug in a cozy corner of the kitchen as the terrified puss collided into every stable piece of furniture and appliance situated in the dining room.

" Gochisosama," The student dropped his spoon into the empty cereal bowl, standing as he adjusted his red school necktie halfway under his white jacket. " I better get going."

He seized his backpack as he made for the door, catching a black object from the corner of his eye. He slung his bag over his shoulder and cast a glimpse at the cobalt-colored curtain bedecking a nearby window. At the very top of the frills was Shinosuke, who defied gravity by clawing on to the drapery for dear life.

_HEEEELP!!! Save me, Hiroki!_ The mammal bawled in cat-speak.

Sighing, Tsujiai towed his pet away from the curtain, handling him by the tummy.

_Ahhh… _Shin-chan rubbed his furry face against one of his master's wrists, purring tenderly. As he stroked, one or two of his gleaming white teeth shone. And with a short gasp, Tsujiai suddenly let go of him, chucking the poor aficionado to the floor with a thump, since the cat did not have enough reaction time to merely land intact on his four feet.

_What the–?! Why???_

The boy released a somewhat deep breath. " I thought you were going to bite me," he slipped his arm around one of his backpack straps. " I'll be back this afternoon. No monkey business while I'm gone."

With that, Tsujiai sprinted out of the house.

_B–But Hiroki, can't I come with you??? I'll be good! _Shinosuke got up on all fours–literally–and broke into a mad dash after his master. When he loped past the gate, he looked left and right. No Hiroki anywhere.

_Now which way? _Shin-chan's gaze fell to his front paws. He found a blue piece of cloth lodged on the tip of his sharpest claw on his right paw. _Ugh, away with this, this thing! _

Slowly but surely, he licked the curtain fabric off his most prized claw, his eyelids drooping as they do when cats groom themselves with tedious care. As he polished the rest of his claws, he ogled at the row of fences, houses, and garden plots lining both sides of the road, his amethyst eyes filled with hope. _Hiroki must have gone this way!_

The cat, after preening himself from neck to tail until he satisfied his vanity's content, rose and frolicked across the bustling city street. He observed that the humans he passed–old and young, alone and accompanied, good-looking and hideous–steered clear of him. While the youngsters hurled stones at him, the adults cowered at the very sight of him.

_Why, of all the nerve! I just bathed, you morons! _Shin-chan snubbed each person he went by, his head held and his tail twitched high. _Haven't you people ever beheld a glorious, more superior species before? _He was entirely oblivious of the human superstition concerning black cats, which he was without question.

_Hiroki said, "No monkey business". But they don't understand! I don't look like a monkey! I'm a handsome, dashing, debonair–_

All of a sudden, a delivery truck whooshed by, honking long and nearly flattening our bungling animal hero into a dead pancake.

–_cat. _Shinosuke finished, stunned senseless._ I've got to get out of here! They don't understand that cats DON'T have nine lives!!! And if we do, I don't want to find out yet!_

Deathly frightened of the virtual accident, the cat so ill-omened for his glossy black fur hurried back to the house he called home. _I'm sorry, Hiroki! I tried following you! Really, I did! _Tears stung his eyes. He shut them from the world, daring not to open them until he arrives in front of the Tsujiai residence.

_I want to see you so much, Hiroki; it's been ten minutes since you left! And if you are not before me when I open my eyes, then I'd rather not open them at AAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL…_

Right in the cat's path was an open manhole.

_How was I to know that the mongrel wasn't on a leash?!?! _Screeched the dripping wet Shinosuke while galloping away from the neighborhood watchdog as swift as his legs could. Without stopping, he turned his head facing the ruthless bulldog and meowed, _what's your problem? I only said you're a no-good ninny with breath that stinks to high heaven! At least I didn't tell you of your repulsive, rumpled face!_

The menacing canine growled a dozen times in succession, baring his razor-sharp fangs that gleamed at the pointed ends and emitting puddles of gooey drool that trailed his path.

The hulking pooch's bark was so fearsome and threatening to Shinosuke that the cat was terribly relieved to see the closed gate of the Tsujiai residence. _I'll squeeze through the crack, that's what I'll do, _he proposed to himself. _That guy will be too massive to catch me when I'm inside!_

Our nimble-footed feline sped up and accomplished his plan to a T. The dog that he offended barked ever fiercely behind the iron gate, yet Shin-chan held his confidence once more. He assumed a languid sitting position next to his escape opening and tilted his head pompously. _Don't hate me because I'm beautiful… _

Out of the blue, the intimidated canine thrust one of his front paws into the gap, all his spiky claws extended. He tried to get a hold of Shin-chan, who scrambled to his feet with his back arched for battle once again for only two seconds. When the dog's claw scratched the bridge of Shino-chan's nose, the feline hastily broke off into the house, taking no notice of the snarls and howls that most probably meant: _Come back here, coward!_

_Darn it all! I'm cold and wet from the sewage water down below the manhole, and tired and hurt from the truck and the dog and the fruitless search for my beloved Hiroki! _Shin-chan grumbled in cat lingo. _Oh well. Hiroki won't be back for some more hours. I might as well catch some beauty sleep, so that he may be able to recognize my fine-looking self even with this horrid scar!_

Now if there was one order that Tsujiai Hiroki mandated on his pet, it was definitely the No Sleeping on the Sofas law. Shinosuke was all for it–not only did he wish to please his darling master; he also detested the idea of his lovely coat falling off at the couches. Albeit he craved for a catnap badly, he did not fail to remember that certain promise between his one love in life and himself. Shin-chan thoughtfully slipped into the bottom of one cushioned settee, digging his claws into the carpet to mark his sleeping grounds as all pusses do subsequent to slumber, and finally napped.

After a while, Shinosuke's ears twitched. _Who dares disturb my beauty sleep??? _

There was a whirring, roaring sound echoing throughout the living room, and it was fast approaching his sleeping space.

_That isn't a hound. Oh no, it's worse! It sounds like… like… like the…_

Before he knew it, the deafening cause of the disturbance was right beside the couch he was settled under. A hose-like object was "sucking" him out of his resting spot.

_Kami-sama! It's The Doomsday Device!!!_

_Hey, don't aim that at me! _He bellowed his most piercing meows, only to be drowned out by the thunderous humming of the dreaded vacuum cleaner. He attempted to flee from under the furniture; however, The Doomsday Device barred his only means of escape. He had no other choice; thus, Shinosuke boldly brandished all his claws and hung on to both the underside of the couch and the carpet.

In spite of his courage, he couldn't hold on forever. _NOOOOO!!! The Doomsday Device is going to eat me up like it did last summer!!!_

And before long, it did.

Inside the dust bag, Shin-chan sneezed, sniffled, shrieked, and socked the sack, to no avail. He clawed and rammed into every corner of the bag, to no success. The Doomsday Device was tooth resistant, claw deflecting, and sound proof–enough to convince a cat to lie in wait for its master to show up, zip the bag open, and gasp in astonishment. Which this black cat reluctantly did, in the long run.

_Disregarding the fact that there's so much filth mixed with my beautiful fur, this isn't too bad. _The restless cat curled his feet together and snuggled down amidst total darkness. _Since I'm stuck here for the time being, Hiroki will notice that I'm gone right when he comes back. He'll go looking for me, saying, "Shinosuke, my dearest, precious pet! Oh, how my heart misses you, for we've been apart for too, too long! Where art thou, O Beloved?" Ahhh…_

The wistful, misty-eyed Shinosuke carried on with his unrequited pining–obsession–of his magnificent knight-in-shining-armor who will, in time, free him from the living hell within which he was ensnared. He was not at all aware that time made haste–his Hiroki had already returned to him…

… With a guest.

" May I offer you a drink?"

Shin-chan's ears–no, _all_ of him–perked up upon hearing Tsujiai Hiroki's voice.

_It's Hiroki! Hiroki, I'm here!!!_

" Don't bother, Tsujiai-kun. I'm not staying very long. But thank you."

The smile written on the now intensely envious Shinosuke dissipated into a ghastly scowl. Any other cat never looked as displeased as Shin-chan did at that moment.

_WHO'S THAT?!?! Is that Nina the witch again???_

" By the way, where's Shinosuke? He's still your pet, right?"

_Of course I'm still Hiroki's pet! He loved me even better when you turned me into a human for a day! Actually, I wonder why he still talks to YOU! Tell her yourself, Hiroki!!!_

" Yeah. 'Don't know where he is. We should start reviewing now."

Shinosuke barely overheard an enthusiastic "un", followed by the dying away of footsteps.

_Masaka! They're going up the stairs! HIROOOOOKIIII, GET ME OUT OF HEEERE!!! OH, HIROKIIII!!! _The black cat shuffled inside the dust bag.

Meanwhile, another feline with silvery fur and emerald green eyes shot the dust bag a curious look. _What's this, a moving bag? _He leaned closer to the suspicious object.

A muffled, _HIROKI, STAY AWAY FROM HER! AND LET ME OUT!!!_ in cat talk resounded from inside the sack. Rio, the cat who was _out_ of the bag, smirked. _I know who that is…_

In the blink of an eye, Rio transformed from puss to boy. The impish grin still glued to his lips, the mystical being detached the dust sack from the vacuum cleaner and lugged it ever so cautiously to the garbage cans at the back of the house.

Dropping his load with care, Rio the cat-boy made out the figure of the neighborhood garbage truck from the distance. "Oi!" He beckoned the truck driver to speed up. Once the truck pulled up, Rio tossed the dust bag into the mass of collected waste. He chafed his hands together and grinned to the driver with a thumbs-up. Upon the boy's signal, the man at the wheel revved up and steered away.

Double-taking to ensure that no one was around, Rio reverted to feline form and strolled casually back into Tsujiai's home.

All the while, the poor Shinosuke cried out for his darling master without knowing that he was miles away.

_HIROKI! PLEASE COME TO MY AID! IGNORE THAT WITCH AND SAVE ME! JUST YOU WAIT, NINA! HIROKI'S MINE! MINE, I TELL YOU!_

**Owari**

If you reached this without skipping any of Shin-chan's misadventures, then SPLENDID! WELL DONE! GOOD JOB! You sure hung on longer than I did. sweatdrop

Just like troublesome Shin-chan, you must be itching to break out of this hellhole that I christened, "_Hiroki's Mine!_" (Us: All right! He's yours already! Jeez!) So here's a hint: escape to Submit Review. Simply let me know you've laid eyes on this. You wouldn't want to leave me in the dark, would you?


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